I’ve been cooking a lot of steak, and arranging fruit like flowers. I like it a lot. Apartment life is going well! hanging out with friends having people over for dinner, and taking care of a cat are all things i do daily. I’ll be nannying this week, and playinga at a church on sundays. Which are both things I love so much.
Best investment of the month was a plastic baseball bat and a plastic ball! $3.64..hours of entertainment…priceless
I have been thinking about my life a lot, and do you ever have those days where you are just mozying along and then you start thinking and ask yourself the question, “who have I become?”. It’s really a terrifying question, I mean I guess it doesn’t really have to be but implies that we change. And change when unexpected can totally throw me off guard.
So change comes into my life, through experiences around me, and then I change as a reaction to it.
And this is the cycle
Honestly I’m not very good at reacting to it, I’ve learned to love being comfortable and most Americans do. Through this I’ve become a person that tolerates everything for myself, and doesn’t really have expectations. I find myself here in a place where I desperately need change, the very thing that plunged me on a downward spiral, I need to get out. I can’t fear change, because it is choice that makes me who I am it is reaction that determines the kind of person I am.
I have a church phobia, but I went and played at a church on Sunday, and the preacher talked about being hopeful, and how being hopeless is the most accurate determiner of death. Even more then heart problems, or high cholesterol.
I started thinking about Hope, and what that looks like in my life. And I don’t know for sure but I came up with it looking like gratefulness for my life, energy that’s contagious, doing what I love, being active, laughing a lot. I have hope because I’m alive, and I have hope because as much damage has been done, God is all about restoration, and we are never too far gone for him to put us back together.
So regardless of what event or change in our normal day to day, that changed us, that we reacted too badly, the reality is that change isn’t something to fear.
It’s the very thing that brings us hope.
The reason we have hope.
That one day we will emerge from all that binds us, and the carnality that blurs our thoughts. And all the things that were so distracting will point us to truth.
Anyways that is some stuff i’ve been learning I want to be a better person, and more hopeful person, I want to have a better relationship with God. And finally after making decisions based on what I thought everyone else wanted for me or thought was best, this decision I’m making because I really believe its truth, and because I want it!
So here’s to my journey of faith, learning to love God and get over my mess ups. Learning to hope, and believe and have a life that reflects it. Searching out new venues to connect with God. Seeing the bigger picture and living for more then just myself, but for a purpose that’s been around forever. I like the thought of joining into something ancient, but always new. INCREDIBLE!!!!
Here’s To CHANGE!!!! and my crazy ramblings!
peace love,
Eden
